IDT1415 CW Entry 12 - Feedback on First Draft
Summary of
Veronica’s feedback for blog post:
In my next
draft I need to focus on the following areas:
- Define relationships to clarify story for reader
- Design a focus while keeping mystery secret
- Choose a single point of view to avoid ‘jumpiness’
- Create conflict or something that needs resolving
- Work the story around this conflict
- Use the ‘details’ technique to fill in the gaps in the story
I think this feedback will help me move forward as if I manage
to provide a single focus (that of Rob’s) then it will be easier for the reader
to follow the story. I can see that often I find myself describing things from Rob, Tor or Sirius' point of view and so referents can create confusion because of the this jumping from one view to the next. I also realise now that although the relationship between
the characters is clear to me I need to add more detail so that readers can see
the complexity of the story without trying to figure out what it is.
I think that designing a focus while keeping mystery secret is
going to be difficult as it is not immediately clear to me how to do this, but
I think this is one of the techniques we will be looking at soon. I will definitely
need help here! As regards conflict in the story, I like the idea and I think there’s
a little bit of conflict or tension already. I deliberately left out some info
thinking this would create mystery but I guess I need to make sure it is not
challenging to read otherwise nobody will want to read it. My immediate next step is adding this
feedback to the story and see how it changes the second draft.
I haven't read your second draft yet, so this is not a comment to your writing, just an answer to one of the questions you ask.
ReplyDeleteThe right balance between mystery and clarity is a difficult one to achieve, and yet, it's an essential one. Something that works for me is:
1. Write a list about the issues that you have kept hidden in your story. Ask yourself why.
2. From that list, think of what you really want to keep mysterious. This might be the answer to the question 'what is the story about' (maybe). Keep it simple. Not too many mysteries, so the readers can follow and feel interested about finding out.
3. From the list, ask yourself which items could be clarified without taking the essence of the story away. In fact, when most of the issues are clear, you do create more mystery -without distractions- towards what the story is really about.
4. Clarity when working with characters make us care more about them.
And now, I'm going to read your story! Look forward to it.
Thanks Veronica :-) I've copied your feedback onto a doc so that I can have it at hand :-) when writing. I very much look forward to reaidng your feedback on the second draft.
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